The Cell Phone Bubble

When working as a bus driver you have to put up with all sorts of discomforts. From the lack of bathroom breaks, bad weather, sick students that sit behind you and cough all over you, to the vast array of food odors coming from different cultures. But, nothing compares to the annoyance of the invisible cell phone bubble.

What is the cell phone bubble you might be asking yourself? Let me enlighten you. It is the invisible barrier that supposedly surrounds the speaker on the phone, that prevents others from having to listen to their conversations. While I’m sure it does exist, I have yet to be able to experience this strange phenomenon. See for some reason people believe that while speaking on their cell phones that they are the only ones that can hear what is going on in the conversation. Here is just one example of what I was forced to endure in my five minute drive from hell.

The conversation started out like this. Astrix’s will be used to protect my readers from the filth that flew from this young woman’s mouth. “Hey b****, what’s up? Oh really. F****in aye. Ya, I went to that party this Saturday. Not a whole lot happened, except I got really F***in tore the hell up. Then I saw this guy that I wanted to F*** right then and there. So I told him to do my F****in A** right there on the middle of the floor. Listener must of said some sort of reply. I don’t F***in care what people think. If they don’t want to F***in watch they can F*** off.” I’ll stop there because I am sure you are getting the jest of how this conversation was going. Unfortunately for me she was sitting right beside me, so I was forced to endure this triad of language coming from this young woman. I can only imagine what her mother must have thought if she would of had to listen to this filth for five minutes like the other 57 people on the bus had to. Oh I forgot to mention to you that I don’t listen to my radio because of a complaint I got about it being too loud. After this example you can see first hand why I usually turned it up to drown out the noise.

I mean, come on, what does this woman have wrong with her. First off she is screaming all most into this phone like it is an old tin can with string connected to the recipient on the other end. For some reason most people think that because it is a cell phone that they have to yell into the thing so that the person on the other end can hear what is being said. Then to not even care about the people around you even one bit. Who needs to hear your lack of vocabulary prowess while driving in an enclosed cab of a germ ridden environment just to get to class? For some reason the moral fiber that we once had in this country has been replaced with the attitude that it is all about me. I say what I want, when I want, who cares that it might offend some one. The sad thing is that when she got on the bus later that day I asked her what her major was, to be astonished that it was elementary education. I can’t imagine how that job interview would go, well yea I can. I think it would have to sound something like this.

“Miss So&So why do you think you are the most qualified for this job?” Followed by the reply of “Because it would be the best F***in decision you have ever made in your F***in life. I would teach all of them little B***es on how to be the best beer bonging winners that elementary has ever F***in experienced. So when do I get the F***in job?” Which would be followed by the statement of “We’ll call you. Don’t call us.”

So until this magical barrier seems to be made for cell phone users, please remember one thing. You are not in your house all by yourself. You are out in the world where others have to live as well. And yes the phone is working and you don’t have to yell into it. Followed with the life long idea of talk like a duck, walk like a duck, well then I guess you must be a duck. But in this case I would have to say more like a Wh*re.